Random observations and assorted silliness
April 11, 2023
Newest installation in Target's Random Retail Still Life series (and IMHO one of their best to date): Bench, Beans, and Beach Ball.
April 8, 2024
A work colleague forwarded this link a propos of the eclipse, and since it's one of my favorite records and I hadn't heard it in a while, I put it on while I was showering during my break just now and had a great shower sing. The beauty of singing in the shower is that you're always -- ALWAYS -- in voice. 😏 (Clicking on the image will take you to the song on YouTube.)
January 26, 2024
I'm guessing the two aren't related.
November 27, 2023
Yeah I feel hip. 😝 (A friend on Facebook remarked, "Just don't break that hip.")
I picked this up at the farmers market last Friday. The gent who rang me up told me it was a crimson cuttlefish radish. I told him, "You're pulling my leg." He swore he wasn't. So I called him a low-down Yankee liar. He eyed me for a few seconds and then said, "Prove it." Thankfully the cavalry arrived just as we were reaching for our squirt guns.
True story. 🙊
October 6, 2023
If anyone in the neighborhood is missing a set of sheets, it looks like they have a side hustle.
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October 1, 2023
The life cycle of a menudo:
(1) A baby menudo, blanched
(2) A menudo's steamy adolescence
(3) My lil menudo, all growed up
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September 30, 2023
If photosynthesizing could talk, I wouldn't be able to hear myself think right now.
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August 27, 2023
I'm pleased to welcome a new baby curbside to my neighborhood! (I didn't witness the birth personally, but I'm sure it was a beautiful and profound event.)
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August 21, 2023
I put it to you that mushrooms lined up on a lawn as a makeable pool shot is evidence of a higher power. It's not a hill I'm willing to die on, but you will receive some pushback if you contest this.
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July 29, 2023
Malapropism from my mom's neighbor, defined:
"Hornery": A bad mood that only one thing will cure
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July 14, 2023
I came across these last night at Contemporary Craft in Pgh after a collaging workshop. Yes, I was tempted.
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July 6, 2023
(1) Glad to see Radio Cthulhu's adult station is back on the air...
(2) ...and already has one avid listener.
😟
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June 12, 2023
I returned from five days away late Saturday night, and discovered yesterday morning that there had been some activity outside my apartment in the interim. Mr. and Mrs. Robin will need to get used to my being around, as there's nothing in my lease about birds and eminent domain.
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June 1, 2023
Driver needed for greater Pittsburgh area. Under 3' 6" tall and experience driving Flintstone shift preferred. Must be over 18 months old and have a valid driver's license. Call Betty R. at Yabbadabba Deliveries PA6-5000 BC evenings and weekends.
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May 29, 2023
The Audrey Jr. twins persuaded me to chop up my neighbor and feed her to them.
Or I had beets for dinner.
Your choice.
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May 20, 2023
When you're out walking this season, please be mindful of the ground beneath your feet lest you step on a balloon hatchling that has fallen out of a nest.
May 14, 2023
Bucatini, bucatini, thou spaghetti straw,
Where hast thou been all my life?
April 21, 2023
So glad that the co-op's restroom is hobbit-accessible.
A thought: one group of people who would do well to beware the ides of March are those who indulged in pi yesterday. Even a sliver of pi will give you a powerful bellyache since pi itself is, of course, infinite.
March 9, 2023
A rare image of a molting fire plug. Isn't Nature amazing?
January 15, 2023
I finally figured out how to describe the color of the light brown carpet in my apartment: mouse fur latte.
December 12, 2022
So one of the joys of sinus pressure, I'm reminded, is that when you plug your nose and blow to pop your ears, it sounds like you have a rubber duck in your head. And of course I now have the Sesame Street song as an earworm.
Some days are red corduroy days. They just are. (Seen here styling in a holiday tableau with the oregano plant, which was too drunk on sunlight to object.)
November 17, 2022
Now that it's cold out, I'm reminded of a sad fact about my very fine, straight hair: that when static electricity and acute hathead collide, it defaults to an epically bad mullet.
November 14, 2022
The
letter I received from the imaging center after my follow-up
mammogram/ultrasound has downgraded the density of my left breast from
"extremely" to "heterogeneously." I consider this a win if only because
"heterogeneously" makes my boob sound smarter.
October 31, 2022
I don't
know what a group of turkeys is called, but since we have a murder of
crows and a gaggle of geese, I think they deserve something at least as
whimsical, so I propose that going forward we refer to a scene like this
one as a pilgrim's wet dream of turkeys.
October 19, 2022
Living alone for a while now, I've found ways to keep myself company. One of those ways is maintaining a pretty steady banter about people and things I pass when I'm driving. I was on a roll this morning when I was out running some errands, and paused at one point and said to myself, "You're like a parrot with Tourette's."
October 17, 2022
So
when I turned on the plant light for the oregano this morning, I
casually remarked, "Tits up," and received an earful about lifeformism:
"We're plants, we don't have mammaries, etc." I think I might be
streaming MSNBC a bit too much. 👀
September 8, 2022
Blood exits your brain after you eat, so the fridge door seemed like the right place for these.
August 25, 2022
A friend posted this image on Facebook, and I responded: "I could have happily gone the rest of my days not knowing what mannequin boobs look like in a pushup bra."
August 18, 2022
Radio Cthulhu is on the air in Pittsburgh.
August 10, 2022
Can we talk about your definition of "fashion"?
August 10, 2022
#OneInEveryCrowd #GottaBeMe
July 22, 2022
A couple of recent addenda to the "Malaprop Files" (ESL neologisms defined):
"Cotralitally":
(1)
The code name for a British-based anti-fascist insurgency in Italy
during the 1930s and '40s. It proved to be only marginally successful
in part because of the poor branding: leaving out the N in "contra" and
putting a second L in "Italy" was not enough to throw off Mussolini's
security force.
(2)
A nonce word used in children's games that was originally in the old
'60s novelty hit, "The Name Game," but was edited out of the released
version, since "Co-Trali-Tally-Tee / Banana-Fanna-etc." didn't fit in
with the other verses. (Bootlegs of that version exist on the dark
web.)
"Legitimative":
This is an instance of what linguists have taken to calling
word-tumors: unnecessary extra syllables speakers add to existing words
to make them sound more erudite. Some linguists expand on this metaphor
and describe such add-ons as "generally benign." Not all agree with
this assessment, though, in particular among traditionalists. A
seasoned linguist from Oxford, for example, scored a bon mot at a recent
conference by describing this particular word-tumor as "ill
legitimate."
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